Sunday, January 18, 2009


"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't
matter and those who matter don't mind"
I just love Dr. Seuss
I just wanted to put this up because this is how I feel , I know the whole slow to talk and quick to listen. I understand that, especially the quick to LISTEN. But I think I should be saying some things to certain people. Some things are just people growing and it really doesn't matter, but some things I am going to hate having to live with for the rest of my life without saying. So I guess I'll just have to live with it.
With all that crap that happened with Will most people are just like "I bet you wished that never happened", or " You should have never gone out with him. No I am happy that I did, it was fun, but I learned so much from that. About people I know now, and about how to see people in the future. I need to put my self ou there more. I could live alone standing with just myself and never having to worry about some one to hurt me. But when I fall no one will remember me.

"I know I am no where near perfect. I know I don't have the prettiest face
or the skinniest waist I know I am not the smartest but Jesus thinks I'm to do die for."

Life is there, Under my dirty socks and math book

WEEEELLL!!! Life is alright and I could go through everything you missed, but I don't want to. So today I woke up and went to church, it was ALLL Good ^_^! I walked in upstairs and Joe walked over and before he could say anything I had to chase Mr. Bounds down to give him a hug Then I went back and hugged Joe and Brittany <3. Then Joe and his brother Chaaaaaarlliiiee (XD) wanted to show me their wrestling video from last Friday. So we went into one of the Sunday school rooms that had a TV in it. I will NEVER wrestle, it looks so painful. But Joe is really good at it, and so is charlie ( bra-head! lol). I twas funny watching them talk about themselves, Joe was like " Look at my Bicep, its so huge!" and Charlie was flailing over his 'chiseled back'. So I want to go watch them wrestle sometime. I know what day and what time, just not I might have to call or something. XD
After service I go to talk to Neil, which was pretty frickin awesome. Bitter sweet. O_o
I finished all my exams last week. So I will have those grades back soon. That mean first semester of freshmen year is over!!! I am on to my next classes. World history honors, English 1 honors, Earth and environmental science honors, and Geometry. SO I am really excited for that!! I don't want to leave Mrs. Bells class, but WHEN I get into national honor society I will see more of her ^_^ ( she runs NHS). I have Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday off from school.
One more random thing I have a vampire smile, and when i get hyper I act like Peanut from Jeff Durham! lol

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Done with being alone
He is always with me
He always has been

Done with wanting a Dad
I have one
Needing embrace in a lonely place
Doesn't Matter
I have worse to worry me

With hope

Life without hope is no life at all
Its always there
Hope is what I have

No hope is a bullet in my brain
He is hope

Straightening up and living out loud
wait, wish, live
tell, love, laugh
be real and forget time

Time is not important when there is no time to worry about
Home is higher
time is not there anyhow

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Waiting for the sabbath to touch like a sin
somethign so clean feels so forbidden when so looked down upon
Toght of the wrong of something so swwet
with no bitter after taste of sin

Change of power see the tiems and where we are
know your time is short and know waiting is right
but you need to move faster

Where I am going what I am doing
plans can burn in a fire but
Gods love is always there with the pen

Feeling wet and dry
sleeping to dream
footsteps of fear and bitter noise
working hard but just need the beat to stay a smile

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Still longing for the touch
Though dreams were fulfilled for a night

So brown eyes died along with the mane
And my hopes flew away from him like I never thought they could

Lifted by a memorable swift move that came back to me like October wind
Their voice, their stance, their indescribable touch

A night to think for the rest of the spin
Shooting stars comfort the cold while their hands comfort my mind

Their magic trick about made me die but one forgiving glance replenishes forgiveness and hope.

Sting of the mirror returns the burning of feet
but all to hold a faceless smile

Returning to the world and my beginning fears
but all to the lord for that's all I have to live for

Words keep pouring but feel to fall out of ears
longing for the victory but loving every step

Keep flying and keep strong
bruises hurt but will heal and hardened hearts must be harder to bruise

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

One touch in a long lost home
One moment and your future is decided
Wanting their hand back
wanting this to be the end of the search
wanting this to be forever

Every moment dancing in your head
Hopes are back and the sun actually smiled
my hair danced in the air

Then the beast roared and secrets spilled
He never said forever and never did he say "Do you?"
The thought was there

Now grey matter worse than before
longing for that friend
longing for that conversation

Wanting to be different
wanting to be back to me
i knew this would happen but I didn't want it now
now this is all I want

Hidden hands and good-bye hugs

Friday, September 26, 2008

beaten with a bat and falling now
Through the window and behind trees
running quick but falling faster

sand isn't comforting when brown eyes turn red
but I still want your grip

Scream it out, scream it out
but only in silent words
Break down on the floor

Make your decision
fly or fall?
there is only time for one

Stand up
strong and bruised
Walk home a new you

The take off is hard
the rain falls and I am still tall

Brown eyes has fallen but my hand is out